Loner? or Individualism?

I don’t know what is it, that the problem lies with me or is this just Aussie Uni life? I have been studying in UQ for nearly 2 years now and yet there is not more than 2 people in my mobile phone whom I can call out for a meal without feeling like I’m disturbing them (because we’re not that close). I find myself eating alone during lunch time in school, spending free time away on computer instead of chit-chatting with friends in uni. I hardly make any friends whom I can hang out with after school. It is always “hi-bye” kind of friends. We sit together in class, we talk during class, but after the class ends, so does our interaction. Our interaction does not go beyond the walls of the lecture room.

I do have a couple of close friends (Asians, of course) in Brissy, but the thing is I don’t know if they think that I’m also THEIR close friend. We may contact each other few times a week, most of the time just once or sometimes even none. So I think of them as good friends but we don’t really hang out much outside school. It makes me wonder if they think me as their close friend…

The thing about Aussie uni life, a lot of people are OKAY with eating alone, doing things alone, hanging out alone in uni. Most are Aussie people but I do see a lot of Asians eating alone as well. Sometimes I even have the urge to go up to them and talk to them, have lunch with them. Maybe I should? I guess it does reflects the western individualistic culture in Aus. Students hanging out by themselves and being totally cool with that. Of course I would rather eat with a friend than spending lunch time alone. Sometimes throughout my uni day I would not even have the chance to talk. Like Monday, it is a full day of Political Science class and I have not made a single friend from that course. WTH am I doing?

I feel like such a loner eating by myself during lunch time in the noisy cafeteria where it seems like everyone has got somebody to talk to. But when I look more closer, there will be some other “loners” having lunch by themselves. On an even more closer look, there are quite aplenty of them. Was I forcefully dragged into this sphere of individualistic culture? Yes. But when one stays in a place with a culture that is so different from your own, you WILL get sucked in.

Am I a loner or am I just Individualistic? It depends on where you come from.

I wish my social life could be so much more vibrant than just school, assignment and home.